So, let me begin this diatribe by saying I just had the fortunate opportunity of seeing "Clerks" 1 & 2 back to back, thanks to the miraculous invention of DISH network. And though the second one may have been more commercially friendly and less intellectual than its original, it none-the-less describes perfectly what has happened to the "Generation X"-ers out there. Those all too serious yet darkly humorous Lollapalooza goers.
A generation I'm all too acquainted with. Not because I am one, but because I feel like a part of the lost generation that falls significantly proceeding it.
I grew up with friends and family of the Generation X. A group raised on new and upcoming technology and alternative music. A generation of eternally philosophical slackers. But, alas my group growing up was too young to experience this era. We grew up watching our brothers and sisters, the kids a couple of grades ahead of us, cousins, neighbors, etc. You know the ones who turned you onto Nirvana and Pearl Jam, before you could understand what the music was about. A generation that always showed promise, but lacked the motivation to excel. This is shown most in "Clerks". A movie I was turned onto, but couldn't understand until late.
My generation was left to fulfill the promises of the preceding. A generation that has no anthems or art of its own. No, I come from a generation that had to cling onto the flotsam of surrounding generations to make up its own identity. Case in point, "Star Wars" is a big thing brought up in both "Clerks", and while Gen X got the original trilogy and the new generation got "Lord Of The Rings", we got the "new" Star Wars trilogy.
Maybe that's the reason it's so hard for me to find any semblance of identity. Because I never had the chance to find one of my own. I find myself drifting between various rock stars and poets for inspiration. And trying to subtly influence my own existence, but always overdoing it.
In watching the 10 year transition from one movie to the other you notice certain things. The acting as well as the budget has gotten significantly better, while simultaneously being dulled down, for more of the jokes everyone can understand. And, the fact that at the end, everyone realizes that we are who we are. Nothing more, nothing less.
And, maybe the Gen Xers have settled down and become complacent. That's fine, who can blame them, they came from a time that didn't understand them and are trying to teach the rest of us to be more accepting...kinda...
The generation I see growing up around me is...strange, to say the least. A commercialized group of young kids willing and knowledgeable enough to take on the world, but wrapped up in unacceptance and arrogance, in superficiality and egos. And most of them are so fucking out of touch with everything that it makes you wonder...and that's scary, because that just makes me feel old and wonder myself...where did my generation go?
In a world where everything moves at light speed, it seems like my generation couldn't make the grade quick enough, and we were the last of the "old ways". Certain things that I can remember are old fashioned, i.e.: Encyclopedias are replaced with Wikipedia, CDs with MP3s, going to the movies with just buying the movie, radio AND TV with internet, etc. No one takes the time anymore, and we move so quickly that no one takes the time to notice either. Before a movie leaves the theaters, you can buy it on DVD, even still, before it hits the theatres you can download it. Everything is so rapid pace; everyone has become devoid of the care and time put into making things timeless. Before you can admire something, the next new thing comes along.
Maybe I should just adapt to the new way of living and not be so old for my age. But, I remember when things had more meaning because they lasted just a little bit longer.
And, I'm not knocking "Clerks 2", I think it's a perfect statement for the Gen Xers. But, it does leave me wondering, where my lost generation will end up? Settling or achieving? Or settling for achievement, or conversely achieving settling?
It also makes me realize why I love movies and music and art. Because I'm going through some strange times in my life, and these things always find a way into my line of sight when I need some direction. I don't know where I am or where I'm going, I don't even know if I want to do what I've always done. And, I feel that doesn't make me a "quitter" or that I've given up on my dreams. It just means the direction has changed. And, I need to do what I feel I need to do. Not what makes me happy or fulfills me, but go with my instinct and follow where it leads.
I feel my whole generation is a hodge-podge of random ideals and art that has no one place. We are evenly dispersed. And because of it, we have no alliance to either side of the generations around us. We are the generation gap.
So, I'm left in this…mood. Not happy or excited. Not sad or melancholy. Just…here. And that's really all that can be said for my generation. We're just here. And, maybe one day we'll be found. But, I think if we do take anything from Generation X, it's in the last scenes of "Clerks 2", where Randal is telling Dante, he doesn't want to achieve anything more, that the best times in his life were working a crap job and treating customers like shit, but he was there with his best friend doing it and they have some great memories in doing so and that it would be a waste to forget them and pursue other things that made no sense and they were just doing because they were told they were supposed to. It's touching to watch, but it's eye-opening as well. Because I've recently made some decisions because I don't want to keep doing things that I just don't want to do, but feel I have to. I want to go back to simpler times. Drinking in my parents' basement, playing with a band that's going nowhere, doing stupid shit with my friends, taking weird road-trips in the middle of the night, crashing on a random friend's orange couch, not having the responsibility of everyone relying solely on my shoulders. If anything in my strange trips in life so far, and in any of my future sojourns, I can say this…I've always enjoyed the company more than the ride. Even if I am lost. Especially because I'm lost.
When Lemmy went back in time and cut off Vincent Van Gogh's ear, for no other reason than to laugh, the mixture of Van Gogh's blood, spilled Absinthe and Lemmy's spit formed a sort of primordial genetic pool. Many decades later David Bowie happened upon this same spot, and uttered the words "Let the children use it, let the children lose it, let all the children boogie", and the formation began a twistin' and a turnin' going through many phases until that fateful day in 1979 when Chuck Norris and Mr. T punched each other at the exact same moment and created the 80s. And from that a Vincent Todd was formed... A prototype in most respects, Vincent became a wild mixture of everything epically comic book heroic and proportionately obscenely politically incorrect. And as the great Paul Harvey once said, "Now you know the rest of the story..."
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